It's a pleasure to meet you my friend, come take a seat at my desk
I gotta tell ya kid, the whole team is more than impressed
Your melodies soar and all of your choruses shine
The lyrics are sound and your voice is fundamentally fine

But face it if you wanna make it onto radio kid, you gotta do as I say
Change all the hims into hers and just don't tell the world that you're- SHHH!

Happy to help, take my cardplease think about what I've said
(Do do do do do do do do)
But this is an industry where people make money so your art has to sell
(Blah blah blah blah blah)
And you should never seek to challenge an audience, they buy what they're told and we never get it wrong
Go write us a non-offensive, tasteful, conventional song
Like this one

Girls like boys and boys like girls
And that's the way it should be forever

Welcome to Tinseltown, kid I'm gonna make you a star
You've got the fire in your gut and everything that you need to go far
You're a talented guy, you can shake Hollywood to the ground
And with us on your side plus your looks you're gonna conquer this town
But face it if you wanna break into this business, kid you gotta play the part
And you'll never play a leading man if you let onto your fans the truth about who you are

Just remember that
Girls like boys and boys like girls
And that's the way it has been forever (yeah)
Girls like boys and boys like girls
And that's the way it will be forever

On the radio, in Hollywood
On the TV shows, for the greater good

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh ohhhh
He said, "Think about the children."
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
"Think about the children."

You wanted me to write a hit record for the radio
Are you never gonna get it?
The kids already know

Some girls like girls, some boys got a boyfriend
I like guys and they like me
We hold hands, make-out
And do all the things that lovers do

Some girls like girls, some boys got a boyfriend
I like guys and they like me
We hold hands, make-out
And do all the things that lovers do

(Ohh)

Some girls like boys and boys like girls
And that's the way it has been forever (yeah)
Some girls like boys and boys like girls
And that's the way it will be

Whatever