Intro: C-keeps the same position but moves up 1 fret at a time, 3 times. 
(makes more sense if you look up a video)


Verse 1:
          C               G             C (pull off and hammer on your index finger as you like)
 Congratulations you survived your suicide
                     F                  G                C
 Your sorry little heart still bippity bops from side to side
                         F                   Em
 You get to see another day, so what do you say?
                                  Am                  F
 Lets Bake some cookies for an orphan who is going blind
          C               G            Am
 Congratulations Welcome back to the grind
          C               G             C
 Congratulations you survived your suicide
 
Verse 2:
          C               G             C
 Congratulations you survived your suicide
                     F           G                           C
 Yeah you and that horror show cliché you’ve been trying to hide
                     F                   Em                         Am                    F
 Ring ring ring you nail down the window and lock the door but the call was coming from inside
          C           G                   Am
 Congratulations the good guy is gonna survive
          C           G                C - G - C
 Congratulations the killer is still alive
 

Pre-Chorus: 
                          F
 You tried to pull the trigger
           G             Am
 but your hand began to shake
                     F    Em
 So you dodged the bullet 
Em                   Am
 That you wanted to take  

 
Chorus:
          F                  G                Am
 Life is long and sweet and love is pure and true
                        F          Em
 So we got ourselves a problem here
                     Am - Em - Am - C(the last Am is short)
 And the problem is you


Verse 3:
          C               G             C
 Congratulations you survived your suicide
                   F              G                        C
 There were oh so many who went before you that tried and died
                       F                 Em
 But not you, you can hold your head up high
                   Am               F
 Let your failure fill you full of pride
          C            G              Am
 Congratulations your wish has been denied

          C               G             C
 Congratulations you survived your suicide
 

Pre-Chorus:
                           F
 You tried to pull the trigger
           G             Am
 but your hand began to shake
                     F    Em
 So you dodged the bullet 
Em                   Am
 That you wanted to take

 
Chorus:
          F                  G                Am
 Life is long and sweet and love is pure and true
                        F          Em
 So we got ourselves a problem here
                     Am - Em - Am - C
 And the problem is you


 Verse 4:
          C               G             C 
 Congratulations you survived your suicide
                     F                  G                C
 Your sorry little heart still bippity bops from side to side
                         F                   Em
 You get to see another day, so head to the bay
                        Am                F
 Maybe buy yourself an hour-long jet ski ride
          C               G          Em       Am  F
 Congratulations you are back on the winning side
F         C               G            C
 Congratulations you survived your suicide